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Dear Adrienne

January 26, 2018

Dear Adrienne,

 

I watch as we all gather around you, waiting for our next turn to hold you.  Taking a million pictures of you.  Talking about what your name will be.  Trying to figure out who you look like or why your hair is so light.  What I love about a new baby is how one person can bring so many people together in one room.  One person can offer so much hope, love, and unity.  

One thing that I find so interesting though is how we instantly compare the second baby to the first.  This happened all my childhood, your father and I would be compared, he was the wild child and I was the sweet one.  Depending on your perspective you could say I lucked out with the title.  But for me, it always bothered me that he seemed to have the spotlight.   He was the charmer, the outgoing one, the good dancer, and the one that wasn't afraid to try new things.  I'm sure if you ask him he will tell you it really pissed him off that I was being called sweet and perfect child and he was the difficult child.

 

These labels stick with you, and often times they become you.  Why do we do this?   Yes we have different personalities but I believe this is on purpose.  What would we learn from each other if we were exactly the same? One thing I love about me and your father is no matter how different we are, or who or what is going on in our lives, the love we have between us never keeps us apart.  We know were different, and we don't agree on everything, but we love each other, so we try everyday to embrace our differences.  

This is your beautiful mother.   A woman that I struggled to get to know for many years because I was comparing her to myself.  As the years passed we were just existing together, as in laws.   I didn't try to get to know her because I was judging her and focusing on all the differences between us.  I know this sounds horrible but this is what people do.  We judge everyone and everything, and it prevents us from learning about each other,  and really getting to know each other. 

Today she is my sister, and my friend.  A friend that is not afraid to take on a challenge, and really not afraid to speak her mind.  Your Mom has taught me the importance of a daily cleaning routine,  how if your on time your really late,  how you can save so much money on drugstore foundation and still look amazing, and most importantly how to just be yourself.  

I watched as your two grandmothers anxiously waited for you to be born.  They both kissed your parents, their babies, and said goodbye and good luck as they walked into the OR.    It was really so beautiful how happy they both were.  Together they shopped for a gift for you and your big sister for your birthday.   They spoke about all their differences as grandmothers and how together they were well balanced.  I remember thinking how lucky you are to have two grandmothers that can bring so much to your life in so many different ways, and when they came together they were stronger and loved harder.  Together they provided joy, strength, support, and guidance to their children and grandchildren.  

You, your sister, and your cousins will all be different but together you will all offer each other something special.  Your Uncle Michael gave your cousins two ponies for Christmas,  one was pink and one was blue, when their hooves touched both their hearts lit up.   

This is life.  This is what happens, we are born into families.  We have parents and siblings and we are all different but together we are so much better.  Life gets hard and as you get older, you feel the need to please people and sometimes forget about yourself.  We get caught up in the fear, and lose ourselves.  We miss out on the most joyful moments, friendships, relationships, and opportunities, but we don't have to.

Don't compare yourself to others.  Just be you, Adrienne.  This life is too good and too short.  We have to embrace it, and learn from each other, to really live it.

 

These bonds can only be broken if we let them.  This is my vow to you that I will always be there for you no matter what.  You are my family, you are my teacher, you are my friend, you are one very special person that has been put in my life and the lives of so many.

 

I love you,

 

Auntie

 

 

 

 

 

 

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